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March 30, 2001
Am I Ready?
copied from written journal
What happened to me this week? I totally fell apart. I mean aside from losing desire for time with God, I've been late for work every day, 45 minutes today, up until 4am or later playing Everquest; lack of sleep; lack of God; no Tuesday breakfast; no cash; minimal food; stress and anger at work, and plain laziness to boot. Even puppets I procrastinated with recording the tape and ended up not going at all. What am I thinking?
I've got 2 weeks for Mexico; am I, will I be ready? That's plenty of time and yet I still haven't done anything. Am I being hounded by demons? Is that it? I look out across an open field and it's amazing how fast my mind wanders, it's like all the problems go away. Wihful thinking. At best, while I'm in Mexico I'll be thinking about this major commitment I made. Am I going to be as productive as I hope?
If there's one thing I'm glad about, it's where Lisa and I are right now. I know there could be something more, but neither of us are making anything out of it. It's an added stress or burden, and right now we've got enought things to worry about, and our friendship, I'm happy, if not surprised to say, has been going amazingly well. She's loved and respected me, and has been a solid close friend. Bless her indeed! So I've got to go back to that heart of worship... 2 weeks! Be prepared.
PS. I'll be issuing an apology at work for blowing up, and I'll bet next week I'll be sick with the flu!
[ previous entry - March 29, 2001 ]
[ next entry - April 05, 2001 ]