'Twas the night before Axons
- by Shad0
'Twas the night before Axons, when all through the house
Not an ARGer was posting, or clicking a mouse;
The axons were graphed on the forum with care,
In hopes that a pay phone or two would be there;
Some children were lying awake in their beds,
While visions of demo-discs danced in their heads;
And a cranky old-timer gave his forehead a slap,
And said, "Settle down! That's enough of that cr@p!"
When at 6:07 there arose such a clatter,
I flew to D.C. to see what was the matter.
Away to the axon I went like a shot,
Picked up the receiver, and here's what I got:
The sun, which had risen just moments ago,
Gave the top of the pay phone a sort of Halo,
When, what should appear to my wondering eyes,
But a tiny computer, fit for storing AIs,
With a pretty young woman, right on the abscissa,
I knew in a moment it must be Melissa.
Her computer was drawn, just as quick as you please,
By a minature swarm of well-trained honeybees.
Her eyes -- how they twinkled, through smile and frown!
Her cheeks were like roses, her hair like a crown!
She had a queer smile, and a much queerer pout,
That looked, for the world, like a bowlful of trout.
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
And two more came with her, to seal my delight:
A Princess to her left, and a Flea to her right.
They spoke not a word, but bent straight to their task,
Ignoring the questions that I tried to ask,
Preparing more puzzles, so fiendishly clever,
I knew that we'd all be stuck solving forever.
Then, laying her finger aside of her nose,
The Queen gave a signal, and the honeybees rose;
More rapid than eagles her coursers they came
And she whistled, and shouted, and called out some names;
"Now, SpaceBass! Now, ScarpeGrosse! Now, vpisteve!
Now, krystyn! Now, Varin! Now, all who believe!
Aveena, and Giskard, and aliendial!
Now, Magesteff and fireball! They sure make me smile!
"On, catherwood, thebruce, and on, GunsmithCat!
On, dnbmathguy, wherever you're at!
On, jamesi! On, rowan! On, Anton P. Nym!
On, rose and Dorkmaster -- we can't forget him!
"And on, BriEnigma, and on, David Stein!
And on, CoffeeJedi! clamatius, be mine!
On, princeofthesword and AnthraX101!"
Then she took a deep breath, and said, "I'm nearly done!
"Now, on, Extrasonic, and on, Cherry Cotton!
And lastly, on, everyone else I've forgotten!
(Now, please don't be hurt that I ended this way;
If I mentioned you all, well, I'd be here all day!)
"To the start of the ARG! to the top of the wall!
Now SPEC away! SPEC away! SPEC away all!"
And I heard her exclaim, ere she shrunk to a dot,
"MAY YOU FIND WHAT YOU WISH WHEN THE AXONS GO HOT!"
(With apologies to Major Henry Livingston Jr.)
- Shad0
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